Getting back to me

I am finally getting stabilized with my meds and lots of prayer. I have had a few down days since the time change, but I think everyone does. Sorry its been so long, but I haven’t felt up to writing. So, how are you dear reader? Leave comments and tell me what your like to read about. I’m interested in your opinion.

Love y’all God bless,
Erin

A little down, but on my way back

Hello readers, good day isn’t it? I’m really wanting to be real a minute. So here goes…

I’ve been having some weird symptoms with my bipolar. Crying, anger outbursts and dark depression. Now I am finally on a med for my bipolar. I’ve been put on lithium. My new psychiatrist said my old one didn’t have me on anything for my bipolar. How can a place claim to treat you while completely ignoring one of your diagnoses. I’ve been better, but it really ticks me off.

God bless you all.

Love,

Erin

Up and Down

Hello readers, it seems lately all I can do is moan and complain… and today is nothing different.

First, I’ve been having a new symptom. I’ve been having crying spells, for no reason. It takes anything to set me off. Second, my anger has gotten worse. I’m just not sure why. I think I’m on the wrong meds. That’s something I’m hoping a new doctor will fix. Third, my insomnia is off the charts. It has to be worse than before or that’s how it seems.

Now for the good news. I am going to see a new psychiatrist in a couple weeks. I’m hoping a fresh look at my symptoms will render some answers.

God bless.

Love,

Erin

Upside down

Hello readers, I’m not having a good day. No one in my immediate family is.

I can’t talk about it. But I feel like we are under attack. Things went from fine to dismal in 0.2 seconds today. I felt so helpless. My sister and her husband must feel even worse.

I think prayer is all that will help at this point. Pray for us dear readers. At least there is the hope of tomorrow. Like the song says, “Its always darkest just before the dawn.”

On happier news I have lost 7 lbs. Its not much but its a start. 43 to go.

God bless y’all tonight.

Love,

Erin

Do or do not, there is no try.

Hello readers, the title of today’s entry is a Yoda quote. Its been on my mind lately, personally and outwardly.

Unfortunately most of us can’t live up to Yoda-isms. We do our best to not try, but sometimes we give in and try anyway. Example: say you have been cleaning house and you need to rest, how long do you take? Is it too hard to get back up and continue to “do?” It becomes harder and harder to not “try” to get up. Am I making any sense? I had this planned in my head, but it sounds silly as I put my thoughts in text.

God lets us make mistakes and get up from there as we “try” to do better. Yoda is no God, even to a Jedi wanna-be like me. I know my God loves me, and He lets me try… as long as I have faith.

God bless you.

Love,

Erin

Oops…didn’t I blog that?

Hello readers, there has been so much to do and so little time to write. It seems I started to blog three or four times, but the unfinished drafts are sitting in my backlog clogging the creative flow. Sorry.

I know I started once to tell you more about Bailey, our puppy. But all the bragging had to stop when he decided he didn’t want to cooperate with house training. He did so good the first week, but now we are cleaning a mess at least twice a day. We don’t know what to do. If any of you have suggestions let me know in the comments section.

I started crocheting a blanket while I was in Florida, but we’ve been so busy I’ve barely had time to work on it. I think I’ve done six rounds since I have been home, how will I get it done in time? I may have overstated my abilities. Often I think I can do more than I’m able to. God will help me.

I’ve learned a new tatting technique… well almost. Its called ANKARS. I have the basic tatting down, now I just have to try it with beads. Without beads it just layered rings.

I went to Knitting in the Red, a lys (local yarn shop) yesterday and met a sweet lady named Beth. She bought me some yarn and in exchange I am making her two pairs of earrings. She is so sweet, I feel I have made a new friend.

Now, I can’t sleep. My lower back is killing me and I’ve woke up to a splitting migraine. I can’t take anything because in a few hours mom will come get me to walk the dog. I think with all my ‘waking ups in the middle of the night’ I  have gotten two hours. Blogging is therapeutic I thought maybe I could post, relax and get back to sleep. Pray for me y’all.

To sum up: sorry for the long break between posts, things have happened i just haven’t had time to write, and I need sleep. Yeah, that sounds like everything. Take care y’all, and God bless you!

Love,

Erin

Home!

Hello readers, how are y’all? Guess what, we made it safely home with the puppy. We had smooth travels and a fun trip. But we are glad to be home.

Our cats are none too happy. Its been tense since we got home. Everyone is in bed now and the cats are in my room with me. We are crate training the puppy…

So short tonight, but I am exhausted. God bless you.

Good night.

Love,

Erin

Florida and Family

Hello readers, how are y’all? I’m doing great. All smiles today.

This week my parents, uncle and I are in Florida visiting family and picking up the newest member of the family. His name is Bailey, and we all love him. He is a beautiful cocker spaniel puppy, about eight and a half weeks old. Cuddle, sweet, friendly and hyper are a few words to describe him. But the hyperness will fade as he gets older.

We are hoping to train him as a service dog. Wish us luck.

God bless you all.

Love,

Erin

Unworthy

Hello readers, despite the depressing title I am not here to whine and moan. I’ll explain everything, just sit back and listen.

As a Christian, I sometimes find myself doing or saying things that aren’t very Christ-like. And it makes me wonder why God puts up with me. What is so special about me that God looks out for me and answers my prayers? It’s not a question easily answerable. Despite my short comings, and being totally unworthy, God still loves me. Once you’ve given your life to Him, He covers you in the blood that washes away all sin. That doesn’t mean you wont screw up, or make mistakes…believe me no one is perfect. It simply means that when you do mess up, God will let you fall on your knees again and be forgiven all over again.

Don’t misunderstand me, it isn’t “once saved, always saved” its more like daily deciding to go after Godly things. If you make a mistake its okay. Get down and say, “God, its me again. I’ve really messed up and I don’t see how to make it better. Please God, forgive me.” He will guide you to do the right thing. Just know the right thing is not always the easy thing. Doing God’s will is often hard and takes total self sacrifice.

Im trying to do the right things, but I still mess up. I’ve done a few things in not proud of, but God is leading me. Sometimes you just have to let go and follow instead of lead. Let God go before you and you’ll find you mess up less and less. I still haven’t mastered that lesson, so I’m telling myself as much as I’m telling you.

I hope none of this has sounded preachy. I just had some feeling I had to vent. God bless you all and good night.

Love,
Erin

Internet issues…Fixed!?

Hi readers, you’ll never guess what I’ve been through.

For the last two weeks we’ve had a bizarre lack of internet, in my room only. So for the second time in two weeks we had a technician out to try to fix it. Its fixed, but in the weirdest way. It turns out the signal was too concentrated in my room. So he needed to diffuse the signal. How, you may ask. Well, lets just say you can no longer see the modem in my room… because its behind my desk. Have you ever?

That’s all for now. God bless you.

Love,

Erin